that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize