she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm sobbing to NWA
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
