I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
