I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
