Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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