Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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