oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
