I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
