I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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