Quick, to the slutcave!
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
