pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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