Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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