just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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