it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
