your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She told me I should be a condom model.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
