cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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