I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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