I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
