is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
