the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
