Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
My balls are so social today.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize