Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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