we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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