I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
