where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
