Don't you send me to vm
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm jealous of your bromance
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
