This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
