I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Less talking, more tequila
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
