i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
