I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
