Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
