Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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