Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
