haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
