Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I just want nice things and good sex
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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