I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
