I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
