I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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