Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(785): View more from Kansas

He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.

(1-785): View more from Kansas

But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.

Fav 26 9101 1297
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(423): View more from Tennessee

drunk tastebuds have low standards.

Fav 6 4088 1442
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(231): View more from Michigan

You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.

Fav 11 4610 1341
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(803): View more from South Carolina

I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.

Fav 4 2519 873
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(310): View more from California

Can we just ponder our lives for a second.

(818): View more from California

No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.

Fav 8 2462 1174
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun

(262): View more from Wisconsin

Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating

Fav 10 2325 829
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.

Fav 6 1210 602
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(425): View more from Washington

So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy

Fav 1 6 137
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(310): View more from California

I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”

(310): View more from California

My divorce is turning into a porn script

Fav 0 80 9
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