You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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