Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
