the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
