We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
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