Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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