he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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