Say something about gay babies.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
