we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
