Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I understand Curling. That high.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
