I'm jealous of your bromance
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
