That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize