Hey man sorry I got all grabby
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
