I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
