ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
