i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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