my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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