Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
