you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
