Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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