I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
