He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize