these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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