the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
