Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
