ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
my being single is dangerous.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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