Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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