omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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