I just pynch a tree in the face
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize